“What is the meaning of life?”, “Is there a God?” and even “Do blondes have more fun?” These are apparently the world’s trickiest questions. Internet search engine Ask Jeeves has compiled a top 10 of “unanswerables” from the past decade, based on some 1.1 billion queries made on the site since its launch in 2000.

Whether blonde or brunette, atheist or a believer, one thing is for sure; without a clear life purpose, fun and faith can give way to a bleak outlook. With depression at an all time high and drug/alcohol abuse reaching epidemic proportions, more people than ever are searching for meaning in their lives.

Life is empty until we fill it with the things that add meaning. Until we have held a no holds barred, warts and all inventory of our own beliefs, behaviours and fears we are unable to find a strong starting point. This ten step program won’t tell you whether peroxide is the way to go, but it will help you create a life with meaning, purpose and joy!

THE TEN STEPS TO FINDING THE MEANING OF LIFE:

Step One: Discover who YOU are, the real you, without the bravado and props you have accumulated to distract yourself and others from seeing your frailties and fears. Give yourself permission to be imperfect, it’s a powerful liberation!

Step Two: Face your fears- that’s the stuff you avoid at all cost, which often leads to blaming others or seeing yourself as a victim of circumstance. Fear will flourish in this hotbed of denial. Once confronted, fear is quickly replaced with courage and vision; a healthy platform for progression.

Step Three: Accept yourself, warts and all. Change what you don’t like and love what you do.

Step Four: Get to know yourself all over again. Understand what you love and what exaccerbates your dark side. Do more of the former and eradicate the latter from your day to day living.

Step Five: Allow inner confidence and healthy behaviours to steer you towards loving relationships, positive friendships and a happy family life with clearly defined personal boundaries.

Step Six: Commit to self awareness. If something doesn’t feel good, check it out; it’s a sign post commanding attention.

Step Seven: Dare to dream. With your internal house in order, anything is possible. Your life without fear and worry is full of passion and self belief.

Step Eight: Take time to appreciate everything you have, your achievements and how far you have come.

Step Nine: Be determined to enjoy every day of your life as if it’s your last. Live life to the fullest now that you have a strong sense of purpose and your life is packed with meaning.

Step Ten: Spread the word to others, help them face their fears, find purpose and love their meaning-filled life!

On an average day you have 60,000 thoughts which dictate your mood, confidence and achievements. When was the last time you took stock of your thought bank and checked you are making healthy deposits?

A staggering 98% of thoughts are repetitive. Your mind regurgitates the same messages, whilst holding the power to influence the quality of your life. If, like many people, your thought stylus is stuck in the “I’m not good enough” groove, you will soon be considering these words as fact.

Your thought program becomes a highly effective way of diminishing self belief, along with your good mood. Alternatively it can be used as a powerful tool to enhance your feel good factor. The only difference is the setting you have chosen. The quality of your thoughts make the difference between a happy and successful life or a dull and lifeless existence and yet so often we think without thought.

The fastest and most effective way to change any unwanted feeling is to change what we think. Replace negative thoughts with powerful, posiitve statements, these will soon become facts you believe about yourself. Notice the effect as you replace your internal record and play “I am successful, happy and confident” or “I always achieve my goals” .

Your mind can only have one thought at a time. You can CHOOSE that thought.

Take ideas from books, magazines, other people… be creative and find fresh sources for words, inspiration and goals. Stretch your mind in new directions, give it a workout. You know how much better your body feels after it has been put through its paces, your mind will thank you too!

Make a pact with yourself to have 20 new, positive thoughts each day and see the results after just one week. It’s free, it’s safe and it’s the first step towards changing your life.

Advanced neuro conditioning techniques greatly speed up the thought-change process. Allowing old, destructive thought patterns to be quickly diminished and replaced with bright, positive beliefs that enhance self esteem, performance and success. For more information and to find out how it can help you, please contact me here on Wahanda or visit michellezelli.com

Being in love with a Toxic Man Child is fun, frustrating and too often, ultimately heart breaking.

Robbie Williams, our favourite TMC has apparently overcome many of his personal demons to grow up a little and marry the lovely Ayda Field. Having been together for four tumultuous years (TMC years are equivalent to 3 non-TMC years in terms of emotional energy required to survive) Robbie, at 37, is now saying “I am too selfish to have children and am putting it off as long as I can!” Our needy TMC doesn’t want to give up his sole recipient status when it comes to Ayda’s love and attention.

Your TMC relishes that you are his lover (and TMCs make great lovers!) but he also has a way of bringing out the gentle, nurturing mother-love you thought you would hold exclusively for your children. In short, he makes you feel needed!

If in doubt, how many of these five check points does your man tick? Know for sure whether you are involved with a TMC:

1. He’s 30+ and still spends hours on his Playstation and other boys toys. You hear yourself nagging for his attention, when you start sounding like his Mother it’s time to sit up and take notice!
2. You have great fun together, he’s full of surprises but when it comes to making a serious commitment to your relationship, he just can’t do it! You are starting to think this is about you – it’s not!
3. He’s gorgeous, a free spirit, cheeky and so sexy – and the thought of never having another woman, cutting off his play options, leaves him cold!
4. Nobody brings the same smile to your face, he just has this, well…this way about him – An irresistable giant toddler, who creates mess and bedlam wherever he goes!
5. Despite his outer confidence, his wicked smile and being one of the lads, there is a little boy quality about him, demanding to be taken care of. At times it’s exhausting but you simply cannot resist the way he needs you!

Simply irresistable – The TMC offers fun, laughter, love and vulnerability – a powerful concoction. When he throws his toys out of his pram and refuses to stay on the naughty step – you are in trouble. This man can run rings around you, often using his vulnerability and your love to work against you, leaving you confused and unsure about who you are, your relationship and your future.

If you have a history of attracting and falling in love with enticing TMCs, it’s time to understand why you are attracting the type of men you do and learn how to change your relationship patterns for good.

Or maybe you love loving TMCs, would have it no other way but would like some ‘Super Nanny’ tricks up your sleeve in order to manage your relationship in a healthy and more balanced way. Because let’s face it, when you’re involved with a loveable TMC you are going to need all the help you can get when it comes to staying on track.

Conscious awareness let’s you see for yourself those old patterns you have been running – prepare to be surprised by what you find and how, within one session you will see clearly how easy it is to change those patterns you want to leave behind. Neuro Conditioning is a powerful tool that allows you to step into new behaviours and attract different results to those you have known before. We ultimately get what we truly think we deserve, look around you and decide for yourself if you deserve more?

Contact me today and find out how this life changing coaching program could work for you from session one.

A broken heart can do it but so can simply forgetting your dreams and aspirations.

Tune in carefully to your spirit and it will guide you faultlessly. If you haven’t learned how to connect with your spirit, the way you are feeling about yourself and your life will be letting you know - in no uncertain terms!

If your spirit is crushed and unheard you can’t function at your happiest, healthiest and are likely to be falling into a downward spiral that treads the path to the ‘you’ you least like.

So, how do you know if your spirit is crushed? See how many of these ten tell tale signs you recognise….

1. Life is just something you do. You no longer feel passion for the things you used to love.
2. You can’t remember the last time you laughed ’til you cried.
3. You eye others and opportunities with cynicism, fear and mistrust. No longer looking for their potential or greatness – you have lost faith!
4. You feel alone, despite having people around you. You are not happy with your own company but then neither are you happy with others.
5. You are turning to artificial props to get you through. Drinking too much, working too hard, taking anti-depressants…… all designed to change your state of mind, drown out your discomfort but not transform your state of spirit and life.
6. You have become wrapped up in how you look, what you have (or more likely what you don’t have) and have lost the art of appreciation for the things that really matter, that touch your soul.
7. Your relationship fails to inspire you. Or is non existent. You have settled for less than you deserve but fear the alternative more.
8. You blame money, other people or life’s circumstances for your unhappiness. Not realising it is within you to change your perception and your life. A victim mentality has crept up on you and you didn’t even notice!
9. You can’t feel your heart anymore. It’s there and it’s beating but no longer open to love and deep happiness, in fact you have given up on both.
10. You already know that tomorrow will be just another day, much the same as today. Not full of delight and surprise, laughter and love. You have given up on yourself and settled for what you fear you deserve.

We all go there. We have all been there. You are not alone! Our faithful spirit waits patiently for the moment when you say “Enough!” It waits for the day you decide to demand more from your life and will no longer settle for “Is this all there is?”

Start thinking about what you really want, be brave and allow yourself to dream big dreams! It might seem impossible to achieve those dreams right now but that’s because you’re stuck! You are under a cloud and waiting for the winds of change to blow – you are the one who can create the momentum. Simply by making the decision today that you will engage with your best self, take small steps each day to move forward in a different direction. The direction of your dreams – the ones you have long forgotten!

How would it feel to spring out bed each morning excited about what lies ahead for you? Knowing you are on a new path, feeling inspired and truly pleased to be alive? To know you can command what you deserve and feel great about it? You can’t imagine it? Oh come on! What would happen if you did?

Just take a moment to think how good your life could be if you gathered your courage and dared to make that first step today.

Oh, you don’t think you can stick to it? You will have a couple of days and then go back to the old you? What would happen if you didn’t? If you had someone walking the path with you, guiding and encouraging you and showing you new ways to think and be?

If you would like help in seeing through the fog, creating clarity and vision with a simple but effective strategy for finding yourself, your lust for life and your greatness please get in contact. Let’s talk and you might be surprised how quickly your spirit responds!

Your mind is the most powerful computer known to man. It consists of an operating system and an elaborate structure of filing trays which dictate how your life is lived.

Each time you take in information you delete, distort and generalise in order to easily slot this new data into your existing system. Lack of an appropriate filing tray can throw you off balance, cleverly pushing you into ‘vicious circle’ thinking- you know, those repetitive thoughts and worries that can last for ages, keeping you awake at night and have you reaching for a not so healthy distraction!

Your existing filing system is based on your historical experiences, many of them from decades ago. If much of the information on which you base today’s beliefs and behaviours is out of date and holding you back, you are simply running on an antiquated operating system and are due for an upgrade.

Some people are running their mind with an technology that could be likened to the old DOS system – you remember the original computer you bought? The one that took up an entire desk? It was slow and clunky and if you were using it today to run current programs it would probably crash! By upgrading your mental operating system you will maximise information and experiences that come your way.

Constructing a new and valuable filing system brings immediate advantages – conscious awareness, specific outcomes and personal growth as each page is refreshed. In short – you will feel great as you create the life you want!

How would it help you to understand the operating system you are running? What would you like to achieve but keep getting stuck on the way? Your first Dynamic Coaching session will uncover your specific strategies holding you back. With this awareness you will understand, perhaps for the first time, your patterns and how to change them.

Freedom at last to understand your old blocks and behaviours, why you create specific patterns in your life and keep getting stuck! It is time to move forward with a clear vision of the life you want and know how to achieve it.

To learn more about Dynamic Coaching – a powerful, fast and effective blend of NLP, Archetype awareness, ReSourcing and Anchoring as used by Tony Robbins, Andy Harrington and Paul McKenna get in contact with me now. All sessions come with a money back guarantee – that is how confident I am that this work will change your life!

Are you sitting comfortably? Do you have a chilled glass of wine by your side as you take time out to relax after one hell of a day? A little ‘me’ time is often punctuated by hearing a cork release and the gorgeous gurgle as the wine glass fills. Aaaah bliss!

You already know how that glass (or three) of vino each evening could be on target to cause you serious health problems. This is where you might be tempted to click ‘close’ and move on, but before you do, please let me put it another way: alcohol related disease now costs the NHS in England twice as much as smoking related issues (source: Centre for Health Economics, University of York). Middle class, middle aged wine drinkers are most at risk.

Increasing dissatisfaction with our lives, overloading on stress and not knowing how else to cope are significant factors. Rather than dealing with the cause, it is easier to turn to the grape. What are you waiting to happen before you take action?

Contrary to what many believe, alcohol is a depressant and likely to make you feel worse about yourself and your life. If you are trying to cut down or quit and keep finding reasons not to, the alarm bells should be ringing! The shame and social stigma of a happy habit getting out of control keeps problem drinking behind closed doors, often until it’s too late. By looking at the area of our lives keeping us out of balance (and the booze is just a symptom, it is not the cause) will enable you to make small-step changes that make a real difference.

Feeling reliant upon a crutch – whether food, drugs or retail therapy – lowers self-esteem. This creates a knock on effect, driving through all areas of our lives as we feel out of control, despondent and less than happy about who we have become.

You probably have a beautiful home, a lovely family and are in good company, but more than a quarter of adults in some of Britain’s wealthiest towns are drinking enough alcohol each week to damage their health. Alcohol related deaths have increased almost a quarter from 2008 to 2001. In a Local Authority Survey commissioned by the Government, the list of the top 10 places for hazardous drinking is dominated by affluent Surrey. Runneymede tops the league with 26.4% of its population drinking to hazardous levels, Surrey Heath, Guildford and Mole Valley all make it into the national top 10.

In our twenties and thirties, our bodies are resilient, making hangovers less likely and recovery easier. The damage is irreversible by the time we are into our forties, and I know you know about those 7,000 alcohol related deaths each year... but they are just statistics, aren’t they?

So come on, pull your head out of the sand and re-think. The latest change techniques will help you change your habits and start feeling better about yourself and your life. Tapping (EFT) is a fast and effective way to regain control, address core issues and increase self-esteem. Habits can be broken by un-learning the emotional behaviour at a subconscious level. No therapists couch, I promise, simply 90 minutes of relaxation and finger tapping on acupressure points with good humour and great results.

Shall we do it?

As mid-life approaches, do you find yourself re-thinking what you thought you already knew? Are you increasingly wondering 'Is that all there is?'

You are not alone! The John D. and Catherine T. MacArthur Foundation's Research Networkon Successful Mid-life Development ("MIDMAC") estimates that around 23% of people suffer a classic mid-life crisis (defined as 'personal turmoil and coping challenges in people between the ages of 39 and 50').

Psychological upheaval in mid-life is not only brought on by aging, but can also be triggered by extramarital affairs, menopause or the death of parents. The realisation that you dislike your job, but not knowing how else to earn an equivalent living can exacerbate matters further. Even children leaving the nest can cause us to wobble and re-evaulate our lives and who we are.

As you have grown through the decades, do you find the identity you present to the world is a mile away from who you truly are inside? The greater the difference between our true self and our external identity, the greater the void and discomfort.

Healing a mid-life crisis and discovering personal fulfillment can’t be bought with a Ferrari, a Harley, or even a mega-carat diamond or luxury world trip. There is no question, gorgeous trinkets and baubles will assuage the nasty feelings creeping up and distract you with their beauty and novelty, but for how long?

Before you reach for that gold medallion, help is at hand. Bridging the gap between the identity you present to the world at large and the ‘real you’ is the key. Discovering a new sense of freedom and an ability to live life to the full will soon replace that old empty feeling.

Sometimes we become so far removed from the real ‘me’ inside, it is difficult to know where to begin. Be childlike, play with re-creating your identity; try it on like a fabulous designer frock or jacket and if you like how it looks and feels, keep it! If you are less than enamoured, pop it back on the hanger, and be prepared to have fun, enjoy shopping around for the traits that suit the you of today.

Perhaps you are ready to remove the layers that have accrued. These masks may initially have been created to protect you and ensure the outside world never knows who you really are, frailties and all.

Often old wounds and scars are the root of the issue. It is no longer necessary to attend years of psychotherapy talking about your old stuff. New change technologies such as EFT and NLP-based Timeline Therapy provide a painless and easy route to shifting old blocks and finding out what lies at core level. Give yourself permission to move forward in life feeling confident, clear and with a deep sense of purpose.

Can you imagine how it would feel to be truly authentic, fulfilled and happy? Try creating that picture in your head, carefully putting the pieces of the ‘you’ puzzle together. If you are not sure where to start, give me a call to find out how Personal Transformational Coaching can help provide clarity and impetus for the change of a lifetime!

Personal re-invention is exciting, finding out who you are from the core and creating a life that perfectly reflects your vision and values brings another dimension to your world. Touch Hypnotherapy is the latest in a string of discoveries to offer the opportunity to break through old walls of fear and trepidation and recreate the life you really want.

Moving on from a relationship, down-sizing, creating a business with purpose, letting go of what no longer makes you happy can all be a time of enthralling transition. Your subconscious mind can assist you in many ways to fulfil your dreams and your potential but do you know how to access this powerful force? New change work holds the capabilities of bringing you into alignment, providing greater vision, momentum and self confidence as you tread the path with newly-ignited passion and knowing.

It is all too easy to get stuck in our old skin, it doesn’t fit us anymore, nor reflect who we truly are . We know our potential is unrealised and our life is passing by but making the shift can feel daunting.

Perhaps you have tried telling yourself not to be so silly, that you should just buckle down and be grateful for all you do have, so get on with it. In theory this sounds reasonable but what is the voice you are so busy drowning out really trying to say? How much longer are you prepared to let the years go by and refuse to listen to your inner knowledge?

Having worked for years to advance your career path, create a secure financial platform and become a balanced adult the time has flown and now you are left with a feeling of ‘what next?’. Maybe you have everything you thought you wanted and still there’s a void? You can’t always put your finger on it but nonetheless you are feeling restless and a little dismayed with the life you have worked so hard to create.

Have you reached a point in your life where you thought you would be settled, sorted and satisfied, only to feel that something is missing? Maybe you know your life purpose and passion but are stuck, entrenched in current patterns and habits, held rooted to the spot and fearful of moving forward. As we make the decision to change it is time to seek clarity and straighten out the confusion, providing a strong foundation to translate our dreams into reality.

Busy schedules mean we rarely have time to invest in increasing the quality of our life. Transformational work has come a long way in the past few years and can affect positive change from the outset. Neuroscience has taught us how to create new neurological pathways, re-program our minds, dispersing fear and limiting beliefs, bringing clarity and a true sense of fulfilment.

If you are new to working with the subconscious mind you might require assistance in digging deep. Often childhood has left scars and we find ourselves carrying around hurt and wounds throughout our adult life. Isn’t it time to heal those scars and benefit your life? Can you imagine feeling at peace with yourself, comfortable in your own skin and excited about opening the curtains each day to see what it brings. One step at a time, the process is unique to each individual as we release the layers.

No longer is it necessary to embark on years of personal growth therapy painfully digging up the past. It is no co-incidence that business, global leaders and sports professionals, along with the folks next door, are signing up to fast and effective change programs. Engaging a transformation coach to help clear out the long held blocks, create a compelling vision of your future and provide exercises to enhance your life between sessions is now as common as hiring a Personal Trainer.

With interactive hypnotherapy, you remain aware and in control throughout. In a deeply relaxed state the archives of your subconscious mind become easily accessible and your old fears and blocks literally come to the surface for resolution. No drama, no pain – just clean and fast results.

• Silence the negative voices, the fears and the blocks that keep you from moving forward.
• Find your vision and know your purpose, discover who the new you really is.
• Working with this different approach for your transition, removes the emotional obstacles, the pattern or habit that you want to change.

As you shift those old, tired blocks you will notice how you feel younger, lighter, happier, reenergised. These changes, touching every area of your life as you bring forth skills, talents and creativity you had forgotten exist. By utilising innovative and well-researched tools, we are able to access these parts and remind you of the ‘you’ that has been forgotten, bringing a new dimension to your existence.

How much of your life are you prepared to squander, feeling down and despondent, treading the old path and getting nowhere fast? If what you have been doing hasn’t worked for you, it really is time to try something new and prepare to be wowed by who you become without that heaviness deep in your heart. Sit for a moment and look at your life, check out every aspect – home, famiy, relationship, career, finance, well-being, sex, fulfillment- how many of the boxes have been ticked? Taking an honest life inventory every few months is a great start to understanding where we are, who we are and consider our options, all of them!

Happy fulfilling your potential, achieving all you desire and having fun every step of the way.

The situations that play out in the old film The Seven Year Itch starring Marilyn Monroe may not be so far from the truth, according to The Office for National Statistics. A recent survey has found that 19 per cent of divorces occur within four years of marriage, 27 per cent between five and nine years and 13 per cent between fifteen and nineteen years. In the UK the average length of a marriage is around seven years for women who married between the ages of 25 and 34.

Should we accept our fate or ensure that we have the tools to navigate us through choppy relationship waters, deftly avoiding contributing to the Seven Year Itch statistics?

So what happens to the romance, love and lust? It is often over-shadowed by disillusionment, rather than damaged by searching for an alternative partner (more than 50 per cent of women cite unreasonable behaviour as a reason for divorce, as do 31 per cent of men).

Couples who have lost the joy in their relationship show a tendency to focus on their partner's negative qualities; what they don’t do and what they don’t have. At the beginning of a relationship, we are blinded by love and a lover's worst qualities appear acceptable as we don our rose tinted spectacles and see only the best in them.

The first two years of a relationship are also often bolstered by passionate and frequent sex, exploring each others many facets and benefiting from the powerful cocktail of sex-induced chemicals. When under the influence of this natural and blissful narcotic state, we see things differently and not only our partner, but the world at large, suddenly seems to be more colourful and exciting.

If you are feeling a little jaded and your relationship has lost its shine, don’t wait for the condition to become terminal. Begin by agreeing to focus on only the good in each other for 24 hours: each time your mind begins to criticise or judge the other person, think of one of their best qualities. Call an amnesty, as agreeing to hold civil conversations and utter only positive words between you (even for a day) will provide much needed space and a platform from which you can move forward.

As a testament to the power of using positive language in a relationship, John Gottman, one of the U.S.A’s best-known relationship researchers, has been able to predict with 94 per cent accuracy which couples will divorce after watching them talk for a few minutes on a thorny issue. Couples who say five positive things to one negative are likely to survive.

By changing our focus we literally change the way we feel about and perceive our partner and homing in on negative words and behaviours is a sure fire recipe for relationship disaster! The destructive cycle can advance alarmingly quickly until a resolution is reached. Check for patterns in your past relationships and historical bad times with your current partner. Are you both able to discuss your needs and feelings openly?

Appreciation is often under-rated in relationships and taking time out to appreciate each other and voice your admiration works wonders. After all, who wants to make an effort if it apparently goes unacknowledged? Be specific in your appreciation; “Thank you” is polite “Thank you for the way you handled that, Darling. I really appreciate how calm you were” takes a little more thought but will pay back in spades. When we are appreciated for the little things we do, naturally we want to do more and it becomes a real pleasure.

You may love your partner dearly, but still find yourself bickering incessantly for periods where you have got into the cycle of tit-for-tat blame and criticism. It is time to stop and change things! No good will come from it, just a downward spiral that becomes increasingly difficult to haul ourselves out of. If you are irritable with your partner and find yourself repeating the same issue more than three times, wise up. They are not listening and you would be well placed to find a new way to approach the subject to avoid becoming a nag!

Remember the reasons you were attracted to your partner in the first place and be specific and precise. It is time to take control of your mind and direct your focus. If you take responsibility for the state of your relationship, become flexible in your approach and make the first move towards a change between the two of you, it will provide a feeling of empowerment where you otherwise might feel overwhelmed and powerless.

Learn the tipping point in your relationship and ensure you work together before this arrives. Do you need to have a passionate argument in order to say what you really mean? Losing your temper means it has gone too far; you are not communicating as well or with as much reason as when you are calm. Of course, the odd feisty exchange could be great for clearing out the emotional attic, but take care never to say anything you regret – those words could linger in your partner's mind for months and maybe years to come!

Withdrawing sex as a punishment is a common ploy and passive anger delivered in the form of 'the silent treatment’ are common strategies between couples in trouble. Both ploys will serve only to exacerbate an unhappy situation and fail to move you forward towards a solution.

A relationship coach can help with this process.They can offer a new perspective and tools to help you understand the blocks, whilst moving forward with clarity, understanding and a return to mutual contentment. Simply by asking new questions and offering a platform from which to negotiate harmony, you could be enjoying a very different relationship with the one you love.

There is a space within, which for some becomes insatiable. A feeling of discomfort that has the capacity to drive our behaviours in directions we are far from proud of.

Some people find they are able to eat this strange core discomfort into temporary submission. Others use drugs, sex, work, exercise – anything that can be found that offers compelling intensity to quieten the gnawing deep inside.

If you have developed a ‘habit’ that is not helpful to your life be aware that you’re likely to be in a cycle of quietening the internal storm and in turn giving it more power!

We can feel incomplete, compulsively buying things in a bid to purchase our wholeness. It is not for sale! The personal gift of contentment is priceless.

Your internal discomfort is commensurate with the distance you have veered away from your life purpose. When your life is heading in the right direction, in alignment with beliefs and values, it seems that an internal integration occurs – mind, body and spirit is at peace and your life brims with joy, purpose and love.

You could call this feeling an internal guidance system but instead of listening to it carefully we are more likely to find a way to drown out the quiet voice of wisdom and soon pay the price with the consequences.

The integration of mind, body and spirit allows us to become increasingly aware of our connection with an invisible force far greater than ourselves. Feeling connected with the planet, the universe and divinity is a powerful place to stand. Imagine knowing that whatever happens in your life provides no regrets, only lessons; no recriminations, just mirrors which become catalysts for change.

It takes a lot of paying attention to make that step change but the rewards are immediate and far outweigh the discipline required. It takes 21 days to embed a new habit and shed the old, you couldn’t learn a new language in that time but you can change your world!

If you have been searching for a way to quieten the inner gnawing - the growing feeling of discomfort and reached a dead end, begin to search for your spirit and listen to its guidance.

If you are having trouble locating, hearing or following your inner wisdom give me a call to find out how I can help shift the blocks and patterns that are holding you stuck.

When was the last time you really let your hair down? It’s alarmingly easy to become entrenched in the day to day drudgery of routine, worries and not feeling great about yourself. Maybe you have forgotten how to release the constraints of self-consciousness and let yourself go, have fun and start smiling from the bottom of your heart?

We run the same worrisome and negative thought patterns through our mind time and again, forget to take care of our body and our spirit and then wonder why on earth we are feeling out of sorts. Tap into a healing resource that you may not be aware of and get moving, liberate energies that are stuck, the mind from incessant white noise and set yourself free to move with your internal rhythm.

In just 15 minutes this exercise will blow away your blues, re-energise and return the flow of your vitality…… you might even find yourself smiling like a chuffed Cheshire Cat. So, are you prepared to give it a go?

1. Close all curtains (unless you are feeling very brave!)
2. Set up three songs on your sound system that are guaranteed to get you moving.
3. Turn up the volume ….. and a bit louder.
4. Stand and close your eyes, feel the rhythm.
5. Tune into the feeling that you no longer want and dance it.
6. Anger, sadness, fear, whatever the feeling that you want to shift. Dance it away!
7. Dance to the beat with complete abandon…. remember, nobody’s watching!

You may feel awkward or stiff at the beginning, it’s probably a long time since your dancing shoes have been dusted off!

Go with the flow, if you start off slowly and a little out of time, great… You are just warming up.

Take your focus off your dance moves and apply your complete attention to your energetic flow ….. even if you are new to this, pay attention and you might be surprised at how different your body feels and your mind is quick to follow!

It’s free, it’s quick and it’s dynamic, providing respite from those tiresome thoughts, getting the energy flowing and as a bonus, burning up the calories!

Ready for the more advanced practice now? Sing along! Word perfection is irrelevant but do it with passion and gusto, noticing how your throat benefits from the work out. Attempt the high notes and the low – the greater the range the more powerful the benefit. Oh and don’t hold back, let it out, be loud and with gay abandon!

So don’t be shy, give yourself permission to let go and enjoy!

Personal Transformation Tip

Imagine a single red rose in your mind.

Put all of your attention and focus on this red rose for one full minute.

When intrusive thoughts try to interrupt allow them to float by like a wind-swept cloud.

You may not be highly visual in your imagination - you will feel, sense or think of the single red rose.

This may be more difficult for you than you expect, stay with it.

Each second that you succeed in giving complete attention to that rose in your mind you are proving to yourself you can have the power over your mind, diminishing the minds power over you.

You are building your mental mastery confidence!

Within a week of implementing this daily exercise into your schedule

You will feel mentally stronger and more confident in your ability to control your thoughts.

Week two increase the exercise to 90 seconds – At the beginning it may be tough but hang on in there

Everything we create in our life starts with a thought, it makes sense to be vigilant and take responsibility for each thought we think! This exercise, applied daily, will provide mental muscle growth, strength and confidence in all areas of mental mastery!

Let me know how you progress and I will be delighted to support you through the next steps, taking you forward to self empowerment and personal growth.

The average British adult spends 3.8 hours a day watching TV – that’s almost 120 hours per month, one of the highest viewing ratios in Europe!

Whichever end of the scale of averages you fall, imagine for a minute how it would be if you dedicated just one of those daily TV hours to your mental mastery! What do you think the results would be in just one month? Is it worth giving up your addiction to Emmerdale for?

Most of us would like to improve areas of our life and to do so we must first pay attention to our internal world and improve it by personal expansion, investing in time to master mind, body and spirit. We stay stuck until we become a master of our own inner world!

How much time do you set aside for taking an in-depth inventory of your thoughts, behaviors and goals?

Our actions clearly define what is truly important to us!

By taking stock of the areas of your life in which you are making the greatest investments, it becomes easy to see how we have created the lives and challenges we are working with today!

If you spend hours making sure the house is clean and tidy and over twenty hours in-front of the TV each week you are defining your priorities clearly. What is this scenario likely to manifest in your life? Sure you will have a dust free home and be able to update the neighbors if they have missed the latest episode of Coronation Street or Eastenders but really, what time are you dedicating to feeding your soul and passion for life?

People often say ”I am working hard towards taking control of my thoughts.” That’s great, so I ask what actions and time are being taken to achieve this goal. The response is often a slightly uncomfortable shuffle in the seat and a slow realization that reading a book on mental mastery is not taking action!

You might feel that you don’t know where to start or that once you have started, where on earth would you go from there? Fear of not knowing creeps into our good intentions and provides the perfect hand-brake to keep us in situ, so you talk a good theory but nothing much changes and you become despondent and despairing, putting up with your lot. There is another way!

Take a moment to consider, right now, what your actions are clearly saying about your own priorities and objectives. Without awareness of what we’re ‘putting out there’ how can we take responsibility for what comes our way?

Mastery of the mind begins with the simple step of taking stock of where you’re placing the greatest focus and what it is bringing into your life, both good and not so good.

When we become consciously aware of our focus and attention and where it’s leading us, mastery of our thoughts soon becomes a natural step. Replace erroneous and negative thought programs with the new, positive words you have chosen and change will occur immediately.

Reject blame, shame, pointing the finger, moaning, judging and criticizing others – external factors that we shift our focus towards time and time again, thereby rejecting personal responsibility for being our best. Nobody can stop you being all you can be – unless you allow them to!

Even the great masters of mental empowerment took decades to reach these dizzy heights. Be kind to yourself and pledge to do something every single day, without exception, that will take you one step further to mental mastery. Take one step at a time, noticing the changes within and those that are reflected in your external life, and you will be surprised by how quickly you will be feeling confident and wanting to invest more of yourself to become your best in every area of your life.

‘Manifestation’ – the new buzz word; but what does it mean to you?

The word ‘manifestation’ has come into our lives from every direction over the past couple of years. There are best selling books like The Secret still flying off the shelves, with millions of copies sold, all in the hope of finding a simple way to create what we want in our life. But are we any closer to finding the answer?

The self help book industry is now worth $7bn – are we getting our money’s worth? If you have read book after book and still feel no further forward it’s because you are not taking action. Reading and learning is great, but it won’t make a difference unless you apply the content with diligence and even then there are a lot of reasons you could find yourself disappointed.

So, what does manifestation really mean? That you just think about something you want to attract into your life and it’s yours? Well, yes: that’s the headline and the basic premise! You might be wondering why the millions of people who are actively manifesting their goals haven't got what they have been dreaming of forever.

The real secret is that your entire being has to believe and behave as though you already have what it is you wish to create. Therefore, if you hold doubt, or a limiting belief at some level that you don’t deserve or can’t be trusted with your object of manifestation, it just can’t happen. Your goals are being actively blocked by these deep seated negative beliefs.

If you are manifesting a healthy bank account but were brought up to believe that “money is the root of all evil”, or “all affluent people will do whatever it takes, including hurting others, to achieve their wealth” - two popular intrinsic beliefs - it is no wonder that you are failing to reap the rewards of your manifestation labour.

Is it possible to think about something systematically a few times a day and create it in your life? Yes and no is the answer! Manifestation works; I have evidence from working with clients who are clearing their blocks and taking actions to focus with clarity on what it is they truly want…. And they are getting it!

There are many tools available to enhance your power of manifestation; with vision boards offering you the opportunity to fill your wall with objects of your desire, meditations specifically aimed at guiding your focus and even movies explaining each step of this popular branch of Quantum Physics. All of these are great, but don’t expect results if you are layering these activities on deep seated blocks.

By clearing old beliefs that have held you back forever, using various techniques ranging from EFT to NLP - which effectively change our internal hard drive - we develop new thought patterns and positive beliefs, and are able to attract what we truly want.

Once these old blocks are cleared your natural thought processes change, suddenly you feel more positive and empowered. Supposing, at core level, you were to release the belief "money is the root of all evil” and replace it with “money offers freedom and allows me to help others”. Say these out loud to yourself and feel which one is in alignment with your own unconscious programming. Notice how the the way you feel is transformed just by the words. Sadly, telling yourself the new, carefully selected beliefs alone will not make the required change because lingering inside of you will be the old programming that has been holding you back.

You might feel as though you are currently driving forward with the handbrake on; imagine how much easier it will be when the handbrake is released and you have a clear route ahead! The emotions and beliefs we harbor can act as a brake or an accelerator, depending on how well tuned they are.

If we focus on what we don’t have and don’t want we will simply attract more of the same experience to prove ourselves right, even if the cost is our lack of success. For instance, focusing on being fat will have you behaving like a foodie, giving power to all of the things you are trying to move away from. Focus on being slim (even if you’re not!) will reverse the process and soon you will find yourself craving healthy, low calorie foods and achieving the weight loss that has to date alluded you.

So, if you are ready to move up a gear and manifest with clarity and vision, why not enlist the help of a skilled and experienced manifestation coach. I have studied the laws of manifestation for over a decade and offer a wide range of transformation tools to clear the blocks and light the way.

It’s time to put the book down, stop reading and take action!

Everyday you make a choice; whether to gracefully slide through life in joy and authenticity, knowing your purpose and feeling great - oozing vitality and a lust for living. Or do we grudgingly accept what our life has become and remain stagnant seeing no hope for change.

Whatever you are choosing to believe about your life will come to pass.

When was the last time your took time to remember the things that make you laugh, cry and feel overcome with joy? You might be surprised how few of us really know what fills our happiness bank, although we are pretty up to date with the things that don’t.

Maybe you are remembering from your past what made you happy? That’s the old you, it got you to where you are now… Make a note of everything you do now that fills you with a deep feeling of passion, contentment and peace. Don’t be shocked if you don’t know where to start, you could be working from an old and out of date map of yourself – it is time to have fun reviewing and updating. Many of the old avenues are closed, the roads no longer head in the direction you hoped and the sign posts are sending you on a wild goose chase.

Exhausted? No wonder! Would you get in your car with a map that is decades old and hope for the best as you head off on a road trip? Within a short time you would be frustrated, bad tempered and bemused, possibly even turning around and heading back home. Oh, and forget keeping your eyes fixed on the rear view mirror - looking backwards prevents us moving forwards with confidence and ease.

Successful people will tell you they take time out to review their position, what they are doing and why, regularly updating their goals. When was the last time you took this inventory of your personal life?

• Where am I now?
• Where am I going?
• What talents and gifts do I have and how am I using them to their full potential?
• What do I have in my life that I am grateful for?
• What’s missing in my life that would make the greatest positive difference?
• What action am I prepared to take to get to my chosen destination?

By working through these questions you will build a clear picture of your start position, the here and now and your goal position. Next is putting the steps in place to move in the right direction.

If you have suspended your dreams, lost faith in life to propel you to where you want to be, it is time for you to take action. Nobody else can do this for you and it may sound like a daunting task but with the right support and inspiration your current-day map could be the perfect end to your 'stuckness'. Imagine feeling excited about life every day, knowing how to achieve goals that have to date been pie in the sky dreams and enjoying every minute of the process.

Scared of failure, or is it the effort you dread?

If you see personal development as a chore, or stay focused only on the end goal, you will be disappointed. The journey of personal growth, with the support of a professional Life Coach, can be exhilarating, exciting and often opens up a whole new world. Take note, the journey of discovery is every bit as exciting as reaching your vision.

If you know there is something holding you back from achieving your best, take stock, take heart and take action. Tomorrow might never come but today is all you currently have.

Maybe you feel you are in a job that doesn’t offer fulfilment but it does pay the bills and for that reason you are putting up with tedium and have shelved your dreams? Many people are in this position but that doens’t mean we can’t explore our gifts and talents, become aware of our life purpose and find ways to achieve our aspirations. Risky? Oh yes! Fulfilment comes at the price of challenging our comfort zone, stretching ourselves towards new goals and rejuvenating our life.

So what do you say? Sit tight, keep hoping and let the years take their toll or sit up, take action and commit to changing today.

They have told us for years that “Life begins at 40”, and so it may! They failed to mention however the myriad of choices and decisions we would be called upon to make and how to feel better about ourselves and our lives than we ever did in our youth.

With Lady Luck behind us we have another four or so decades to make the most of. It’s easy to become bogged-down by life, allowing our va va voom to evaporate along with our self confidence. We can forget to take care of ourselves as we look after others, we might settle for what we have and pack our dreams away forever. We can allow time passing to have a detrimental effect on our feel-good factor, give up on the good times and wait for old age.

On the other hand we can choose to embrace the years, learn to feel good about ourselves inside and out. Experience tells us that we can create a life alive with passion, joy and purpose. Which side of the fence are you sitting on?

The endless aesthetic choices available that can, for a price, hold back time and force even the most determined wrinkle into submission might be a step forward but come with their own limitations. Should we invest in fillers and jabs that paralyse our facial muscles, removing the visible toll of living through four decades? As we progress through the years there is the question of surgery, when to start and when to stop; or whether it’s the answer at all?

The choices and debates continue. With fashion, for the most part, foolishly forgetting successful, financially secure 40-somethings who are horribly bemused by the line between muse and mutton.

Oh and let’s not forget the pounds that insidiously creep on, rendering a waist something we remember fondly from the past. Weight gain is one of the most aging exercises you can indulge in, rendering shopping a nightmare and gnawing away at self confidence.

If you are overweight, feeling less than youthful and under-confident, you probably have already tried many ways to change. Maybe it is time to consider a totally unique program? A diet program with mind, body and spirit focus will have you feeling like a new woman within a month. It’s not just about the dial on the scales but how we really feel about ourselves that counts! Read the testimonials of others who have succeeded and made a decision to change on [www.michellezelli.com www.michellezelli.com]

With all this focus on our external image, how much time and investment are we putting into our internal beauty? Feeling comfortable in our skin, knowing our authentic self and being free to present the ‘real me’ to the world? Feeling good about who you are, with a strong sense of purpose and healthy appetite for life play a significant role in defining ourselves – the wrinkles may march on but our vitality can wane without due care and attention.

Dieting will help temporarily, a good fashion guru will add to the mix but it is what we feel about ourselves that makes the biggest and most positive difference. That is why more women are working with a Life Coach to find their true identity and feel great about it.

So, what are you waiting for? With clinics in Sussex and West London, telephone coaching available and a free initial consultation – is it time to make a different choice and remember how it feels to be your best?

As the sun comes out it seems that love is all around. If you are feeling left out and even daunted by the dating scene, take action now and enjoy a summer romance that brings out the best in you.

Giving attention and thought to a past love can make it difficult to get back into the dating game. You might have finished with someone but can’t quite shift their memory or maybe you are nursing wounds remaining from that special person ending the relationship with you. It is easy to fall into the trap of thinking “They were the only one for me”. This, along with many other restrictive beliefs, will hold you stuck at where you are now.

You might feel pessimistic about your relationship future as you focus on what has, could have, and should have been. Of course it is useful to have a period of reflection, assessing all you have learned about yourself from the experience. You may also have taken time to lick your wounds but at some point you will know it is time to get back out there on the dating scene.

Dating can be daunting when we are harboring pessimism or self doubt but there are ways to make the necessary changes and make fast progress in the right direction.

Focus on what it is you want, not what you had. Be clear about what you are looking for and what is the main purpose of that quest?

If you’re looking for love and affection, or maybe just a dinner date to share a good bottle of wine and a few laughs with a new friend; put it out there! Internet dating sites are a great way to meet new people. Be brave and clear, say exactly what you want and what you have to offer.

Be yourself from the start and that begins with the profile. If people don’t like what you have to say, or feel that they don’t live up to your wish list that’s fine – be patient and pro active.

Go seek those potential partners. Perhaps as women we have the upper hand when it comes to making the first move in real time but when it comes to cyber romance, be brave and make yourself known to potential lovers.

If you are feeling less than confident, be clear about what you really want; if blocks are holding you back it is time to consider a new strategy. If not now, then when will be the right time for you to meet someone? Listen to your internal answer and evaluate whether this is an excuse to delay putting yourself on the line.

Working with a good Life Coach you will clarify and clear your limiting beliefs around relationships, gain greater understanding of yourself and your behaviours and learn a new tool kit for making changes with immediate effect.

Just one 90 minute session incorporating the latest personal transformation tools will make a difference, if you would like to know more, please contact me on: mz999@me.com or check out my website at www.michellezelli.com and read how other people like you have benefited from this profound work.

Are you fed up with being angry? Feeling an incessant volcanic force inside and using much of your precious energy to hold it in check? No wonder you’re tired so much of the time, irritable and feeling just not great – that is all part of the legacy of not dealing with this powerful emotion.

Medical professionals are clear about the connection between our emotional state and physical health. If you are already sensing your health is at risk from consistent effort to supress your anger, it’s time to make some changes.

The British Association of Anger Management says:

• Aggressive personalities are more susceptible to heart attacks and clogged arteries.

• Those with a short fuse are more likely to smoke and drink and are 2.7 times more likely to have a heart attack than someone of a calmer disposition.

• Stress hormones could cause an increased risk of heart disease by constricting blood vessels and causing blood clots which could block the heart.

• Men who bottle up emotions until they lose their tempers in violent outbursts are twice as likely to suffer a stroke than men who have a calmer disposition.

• Young women who express their anger and aggression frequently have higher cholesterol levels than more placid women.

In addition to these compelling statistics you probably already know how much anger saps your energy and vitality; this powerful force takes much holding down and you will succeed for only so long before it takes a significant toll on your health and well-being.

Imagine you are living with a small volcano inside you. For the majority of time it may be dormant but nonetheless you are ever aware of its presence.

Most of us feel that if we ignore the anger it will go away. Unfortunately whatever we resist will insist in persisting! The mere act of ignoring an emotion guarantees it will gain strength – it will do whatever it takes for you to eventually listen and if that means laying you up in hospital with a nasty human breakdown of the bodily functions, so be it! Your anger will have tried to grab your attention in so many ways before affecting your health, rest assured!

One of the most popular ways of repressing anger is by eating, literally feeding it into submission. Sex, drugs, exercise…. they will help but only temporarily and of course often cause further problems in their own right!

For some temporary release get yourself down to the gym, knock seven bells out of the punch bag and you will sure feel better. Having given some of the excess energy release there will be respite but, like any self respecting volcano, it will soon start to hubble and bubble again and you will be back to square one.

So, are you ready to make changes? Do you want to feel calm inside? Are you fed up with being snappy and feeling as though you are on the edge? What are you prepared to invest in the change? Your anger has taken years, maybe decades, to grow to the proportions within you today. It will not dissipate overnight, but you will begin to notice that you feel different when you follow these ten simple steps!

Be aware that most of the anger you believe is directed at others or situations is actually you being furious with yourself, we are able to project our anger onto others but in the end it always comes back to source! It is you who allowed that person to behave in a less than acceptable way towards you, it is you who allowed yourself to be caught up in the situation – maybe time and again – of course you are angry!

Now take the first step towards accessing and understanding your anger and what it is telling you that you have refused to hear to date with this simple exercise.

1. Start by breathing slowly in through your nose, hold for 3 seconds and release via your mouth, gently. 2. Ensure you are filling up internally with air and witness your ribs pushing out to the sides of the room as you inhale. 3. Once you are feeling relaxed set your intention – to patiently communicate with your anger. 4. Understand that your anger has protected you, helped you and given you strength when you have needed it. Understand you are safe now to let it go! 5. Appreciate your emotions, all of them, they are sign posts and be patient. 6. Put your full attention on the place where you can feel your anger. 7. Once you feel familiar with the anger, let it know you are listening. 8. Ask, from inside of your head “What is it you are trying to tell me?” And LISTEN! 9. Take heed, our emotions are always accurate sign posts, we ignore them at our peril! 10. Take your lesson from the session and put it into action – a learning without follow-through is wasting your time, energy and life.

Now, imagine yourself and your life without that volcano always on the verge of eruption, do you know how it would be to live your life with deep, inner peace? Freedom to be the authentic you, with energy to expend in a plethora of positive ways that will add another dimension to your life and change how you feel about yourself.

So, what are you waiting for? Start the process today and you might be happily surprised with what unfolds – if you want to move further forward and feel you would benefit from new strategies and assistance to speed up the process, just call! I specialise in the latest EFT techniques with immediate and lasting results…. what have you got to gain?

Your mind processes around 70,000 thoughts a day! That’s almost 5,000 per hour and 73 thoughts per minute, which is more than one each and every second! Maybe you could take a moment to chew over the enormity of those numbers and what they represent in your life. If we are having anything 70,000 times a day it makes sense to make it count!

With 98% of your thoughts being repetitive and unoriginal we find ourselves regurgitating the same beliefs, opinions, knowledge and results; often without challenging them. Where have all these repetitive thoughts got you, and - now you come to mention it - how do they make you feel?

If you are bored and tired with yourself, the fastest and most effective way to change the situation is to add more new thoughts and experiences to the mix. Stretch your mind out of that comfortable place you have allowed it to reside in and grasp the opportunity to re-evaluate what you are constantly telling yourself!

If we keep feeding our brain the same old stuff that keeps us firmly within our comfort zone we become tired and jaded. When was the last time you put effort into creating new thoughts? The older we get, the more effort it takes to come up with new experiences and inspiration; but we still don’t have to look far - just in a different direction!

Remember, your brain can only have one thought at a time. You can choose what that thought is.

Just imagine increasing your new thought ratio, inviting new experiences into your life and watching as new paths open up, not only to your mind but throughout your entire life! Literally take the first mental step away from that unconscious trance state you are used to and begin to feel alive again. Watching TV, driving, surfing the net, exercise and even sex, can all put us into a hypnotic trance state where we are operating out of pure habit and lack conscious awareness.

Take new ideas from books, magazines, other people… be creative and find new sources of inspiration.

Stretch your mind out in new directions, give it a workout. You know how much better your body feels after it has been put through its paces, and your mind is no different. If you don’t use it, be prepared to lose it.

Until you change your thoughts, where every feeling and action in born, you will remain stuck with the feelings and behaviours you are currently living with. A simple equation, but it takes effort to push ourselves out of that comfort zone nonetheless!

If you go out to dinner, find a restaurant serving a type of food you have never tried before. Select a book that you have been recommended but it isn’t your usual genre. Pick up a couple of magazines that you would not normally buy – National Geographic, The Week, New Statesman with the sole intent of learning something new.

Go on, give your mind something new to play with – you never know what new thoughts might surface. Oh, I forgot to mention: there is one caveat! Anything and everything you choose to do must be completed with a suspended opinion. You can focus only on the positive… If the food is inedible, how is the ambience, the decor, the wine, the people? It is now your job to only focus on the great stuff you are finding, doing or reading. This sounds simple but our ego has become so powerful for many of us, it is likely to instantly want to run the show. If your thoughts start with “I …” it's an ego thought – let it go. Replace it with something you are experiencing that is positive, no matter how small.

I recently applied myself to this exercise and found myself in one of the worst restaurants possible. Letting go of the old and well worn critical thoughts, I focused on finding the good stuff. Low and behold I met some wonderful people, discovered a delicious new wine and got myself invited to a house party that turned out to be exceptional!

Make a pact with yourself today: allow yourself to have 20 new thoughts and just see where it takes you after one week. It’s free, it’s safe and it's the first step towards having a fresh approach to your life.

For more steps, please visit my website. Feel free to contact me for the next simple change you can make to your life to create a great difference. I can now be found in Sussex as well as West London, and I offer a wide range of effective telephone coaching techniques to get you off to the very best start for the rest of your life! Don’t stay bored, make a decision to live your life to the full; engage and feel excited again – because you’re worth it!

Are you:

• Fed up with people treating you badly?
• Tired of being put upon at work?
• Attracting potential partners who seem not to respect you?
• Unclear how to achieve the best for yourself?
• Know you are worth more but can’t quite work out what that is?
• Feeling your behaviours have a will of their own?

Have you ever embarked on a relationship with somebody who treated you in a way you knew was wrong but you allowed it to continue and accept it, in the hope it would change? Are you spending time waiting and hoping for action to demonstrate respect, kindness and love from a significant other? Or maybe you feel deep down that you deserve less than you are hoping for?

Self esteem and self respect are attractive qualities and are built by knowing the behaviours that are acceptable to us and being clear about what we truly deserve. It is important then to impart this information to those around us.

A personal boundary is a line drawn telling others what is acceptable to you., a form of protection and evidence of your self-esteem and self respect. Personal boundaries are imperative when creating good, healthy relationship.

When we take responsibility for how we allow others to treat us the entire relationship changes, whether it is family, friends, work or romance the key is the same. Taking the blame away from the other person, we look in the mirror and ask “Why am I allowing myself to be treated like this?” but so often don’t know how to start changing.

By understanding our feelings, our expectations and voicing them we are taking responsibility for them. Understanding that any feeling is a transient state and we always have the power to make the necessary change – even if the behaviour causing these feelings is relating to another person.

It is important to state our feelings out loud. “I feel angry about your not calling me last night.” There is no accusation and no blame, just stating the simple fact that you are feeling angry is voicing a boundary. You are telling the other person that their behaviour is not acceptable to you.

Of course, you are not responsible for the behaviour of another, however you are responsible for how you respond and how you allow others to treat you.

If you have been treated badly in former relationships you may be using boundaries as walls to prevent others from getting up close and personal – you are doing this to protect old wounds but instead of healing them you are isolating yourself from having a loving and intimate relationship.

Setting personal boundaries might be the key to healthy relationships and strong self esteem but many people are not aware of how to create and define their personal boundaries.

We begin by becoming aware of what healthy behaviour and acceptable dynamics look like before we can start practicing them ourselves. By learning how to be emotionally truthful with ourselves and how to communicate in a direct, honest and respectful manner.

Our closest relationships are the most difficult to boundary and therefore I recommend starting with those people who are less important to you. As you become more comfortable with demanding respectful behaviour you will find the natural next step is to bring it into you closest circle. Soon you will have designed clear boundaries that will become natural to you.

Watch how the behaviour presented to you by others changes and mirrors your boundaries. You will be amazed how quickly a boundary is implemented and the difference it will made to the way you feel about yourself and how others treat you.

The first rule of a boundary is no blame is involved. You might think about saying “you make me feel…”. Take responsibility for the way you feel with “I feel sad when you say that”.

How about: “How could you do this to me after all I have done for you?” This is the blame game again and will not help your boundaries one iota. Be clear, these are your feelings and the only part of the equation you are responsible for. Instead you might say “I am disappointed you have chosen to do that.” The response to this is not your responsibility!

Judgement is also out of the window for a good boundary. “That guy is such an idiot” Is a judgement. “I find that guys behaviour a little crazy, I will avoid him” Is a boundary.

Start building the boundary blocks for your unique demands in any relationship, if somebody treats you in a way not conducive to your values, let them know and remember you are not responsible for their response.

Setting a boundary is not making a threat – it is communicating clearly what the genuine consequences will be if the other person continues to treat us in an unacceptable manner. “If you continue not to communicate with me when you are upset but instead go silent and bang the pots around I will go out for a while until you calm down and are ready to discuss things. If you choose not to do this I will make an appointment for us to go and see a Counsellor in order to help us communicate and avoid these cold spells.”

State the behaviour, give space for the other person to change and state the consequences. Be sure not to demand, you are simply stating the effect on you their behaviour has and what you are choosing to do about it. No requirement for raised voices, tears or arguments.

The other person now knows exactly what the implications are of their behaviour and they make a choice.

Many of us are aware of ‘boundaries’ but are hopeless when it comes to applying them. IF so, maybe you would benefit from help? A good Life Coach will assist you in drawing up and implementing boundaries in a wide area of your life – from work to play to love.

Change your relationships today and feel good about who you are….. get boundaried!

Your body today is the result of your own past thoughts and actions, or in-actions! Take responsibility for what you have created, Apologise to your body and mean it, be prepared to be astounded as it changes before your eyes, as you follow through your commitment towards feeling great, looking amazing, radiating health and vitality. Make 2010 your best Summer yet!

It seems that a trim body, feeling great, having taken control of your habits and excuses, walking down the High Street in a pair of cool jeans, a simple white T and the most glamorous of sandals when the sun comes to stay, is a popular goal.

Stop now for a moment! Take time to imagine the sun beaming, people smiling and you are, for the first time in a while, happy to be clothes shopping. Of course you have a wardrobe full of clothes you’ve been unable to wear as you insidiously outgrew them, gorgeous clothes that once taunted you from their hangers are now beckoning. Today you are adding to your collection because it is time to treat yourself.

Natural colours are being touted as this Spring/Summers look. Muted khaki, beige, sand etc brightened with coral and sky blue. Today you are intending to add a few key pieces to your wardrobe to bring it bang up to date – on your first truly joyous shopping expedition. How liberated do you feel? Relaxed in the knowledge that clothes slip off their chi-chi boutique hangers and fit your body so perfectly, looking fabulous.

You walk taller, your hips seem to have regained their feminine sway, your waist is trim – you are happy and so very proud of yourself as you look back at those first couple of weeks when you felt unfit and unhealthy, pushing your flab to move around the gym. God, … it was hard work back then. Yet within just a few short weeks you learned that your muscles had form, your Endorphins are your best friend and the feeling from saying “No” to anything that doesn’t feel good for your body far outweighed the momentary addictive fix of sugar or carb.

You have set specific dates for goals along the way, milestones to flag your achievements as your hard work and tenacity pays off. You are truly now back in control. For some it is a holiday, others a birthday and even a Husbands sabbatical. These dates are in your diary and highlighted, each one reminding you that you are on track and programmed for success.

You will soon have people around you tempting you to go back to what they know. As you evidence your new-found motivation it will un-nerve as people tempt you back into your old ways. We all feel more comfortable when we can predict what those close of us will do. When you show warrior discipline and focus it will cause people to question themselves and rather than work on their own stuff, they will kindly seduce you back to their comfort zone. Understand this for what it is, the offer of a hot doughnut or big slab of cheese “Because it won’t hurt this once and anyway you really deserve it” is for them – not you!

If you are obsessed with the scales, understand this is a strategy you have adopted to feel as though you are taking action, to beat yourself up and evidence the hopelessness of your old situation – it has nothing to do with being slim. As you are working out five days a week for a minimum of 30 minutes each time you will build muscle – the scales do lie!

As a fit and trim size 10 I actually weigh more than when flabby and tipping a 14! If you only rely on the scales to monitor your success you are setting yourself up for negative feedback (you know the scales speak to you!). You are not working smart and the prognosis is not great. A tape measure and specific moles to ensure you are always measuring the same place are your best friends here – the real measurement of your success!

Water is imperative in your program. As we disperse the toxin-laden fat, our body requires a means to expel the poisons accumulated over the years of inactivity and bring ourselves back to life – literally. Calibrate how your body felt before you embarked on exercise and notice how it literally wakes up over the coming few sessions.

Appreciate your body. If every time you think about your body you are using unpleasant words and feelings – what will you get? More of the same! Your body works fine and will amaze you as it responds to your attention – thank it and appreciate it every single day – the more you do this, the quicker your results. Why should it become your willing servant if all you do is berate and scold? You know that encouragement and appreciation works wonders – use this knowledge.

Your body today is the result of your own past thoughts and actions, or in-actions! Apologise to your body and mean it, be prepared to be astounded as it changes before you eyes as you follow through your commitment towards feeling great, looking amazing, whilst radiating health and vitality.

Worrying is one of the most prevalent thought addictions, keeping us stuck in a state of disarray. A particular worry will become a repetitive thought pattern which we accept as part of our day to day life.

Do you find yourself worrying about what might happen? The “what ifs’?” Do you have a constant niggle of fear and worry buzzing through you that is so deeply embedded it’s take n for granted?

This has become ingrained in many people, to the extent of the initial worry diminishing, instantly being replaced by another.

Worry is a form of anxiety that soon becomes a cumbersome habit, all too often becoming an emotional addiction.

Without worry it is likely you will initially feel restless, that something is missing and begin to search for that feeling again – here the vicious circle continues.

Take time out to consider what benefits there are to worrying? What do you get from it? You might initially think that’s preposterous, how can there be a benefit to worrying? Then, I wonder, why are we spending so much of our all-too-short life engaging in avoidable discomfort and woe?

Over the years the mind has become trained to seek out worries, we might choose to accept this as an intrinsic part of our make up. For a moment though imagine how different your life would be without it. Would you feel happier? Free to make better decisions? More confident and positive?

Worry is a signpost informing us that we believe, at some level, we have not adequately prepared for the future.

We can’t worry about the past – it is done. We can’t worry about the present – it is here. We can never foretell the future

Follow this simple strategy to move away from worry and towards a happier life:

• Identify exactly what you are worrying about – be specific.
• Ask yourself, honestly, “What is the worse that can happen in this imagined future?”
• What actions do you need to take to know you have done all you can to manage this future possibility?
• What has stopped you taking these steps?
• Act now and know you have now done all you can with these circumstances.
• Move on to focus your attention on something positive you would like to achieve!

Having taken a worry and applied the above strategy you might be shocked to find another fear immediately takes it’s place. Why? Because your mind has been set on a ‘continuous worry program’.

Whilst we are using precious time and energy worrying, we are not in a place to be constructive, positive and create the best future. The minute we take control of a specific worry, applying focus to new thoughts, actions and achievements we feel optimistic, empowered and able to move forward.

Now imagine the difference to your well-being and outcomes if worry was not holding you back. What would you do that you currently feel unable to do? Can you imagine walking through life knowing you are in control and free of this invisible weight?

Your mind is re-programmed amazingly quickly. Life-long worriers can be transformed in just six weeks using these simple steps. They require tenacity and conscious awareness – as breaking any habit does ….. How much of your world is currently blighted by incessant worry and the effort that takes? Apply your old worrying time and energy to action and watch your life transform!

With all we know of the pitfalls and poor success-rates of traditional food-restrictive diets, it’s surely time to consider other strategies for reclaiming our ideal body?

By understanding our key emotional triggers for over eating, we begin to identify and deal with the cause of weight issues and focus far less on the effect. A powerful place for any would-be-dieter to start.

Have you made the distinction between appetite and hunger? Are you ready to welcome a new approach to an age old issue - the desire to be slim?

Whilst working with people who are determined to lose weight, I find that clearly separating ‘appetite’ from ‘hunger’ in a clients mind allows a new perspective and solution to naturally form. This has proven to be a constructive and effective strategy and one you may wish to try for yourself.

I have yet to meet a client who claims “hunger caused my weight gain” or “hunger is the reason I kept falling off the healthy-eating wagon”. Most of us struggle with our weight because we continue to eat after our bodies have stopped being hungry. Sometimes filling our stomachs so quickly that our waistline is expanding before our brain has even had the chance to register one masticated morsel!

When was the last time you ate for a reason that had nothing to do with hunger?

How many times have you said you were absolutely full, only to be seduced by the dessert menu?

The most common reasons for eating too much is nothing to do with hunger but everything to do with appetite.

OVER-EATING IS MORE OFTEN THAN NOT AN AUTOMATIC RESPONSE TO:

• FEELING BAD
• STRESS
• BOREDOM
• FEELING OVERWHELMED AND OUT OF CONTROL

According to research in obesity carried out at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT), when given a questionnaire that asked why obese people thought they over-ate the most common answers were:

• Because food was available
• For entertainment and distraction
• Because the clock said it was meal time
• To join others who were eating something that looked appetising
• Because they were bored, tired, restless or annoyed
• There was nothing good on TV.
• Because it was the only good thing they could do for themselves that day (a treat!)

Does any of this sound familiar?

Next time you settle in Starbucks for your Skinny Latte Decaf and pop a cheeky little muffin on your tray without a second thought – maybe you will remember this article and ask yourself ‘which category of appetite does that calorific bit on the side fall into?”

So come on, let’s stop playing games with our bodies and get down to the crux of the matter – we are feeding our emotions and rituals to the detriment of our overall well-being. We are stuck in effect without power or pragmatic optimism….

Turn it around today, learn to listen for your hunger, dance to its beat as you gleefully watch the pounds fall from your frame.

This week I have been researching The G spot in preparation for a radio interview. I have been astounded by the confusion, conflicting data and opinions from professionals around the globe. It seems the simple question “Does the G Spot exist?” remains unanswered. With this in mind I have added my take on this controversial bedroom conundrum, with the intention of offering some down to earth, common sense advice.

G-spotting, it seems, has become a near-global sport. In bedrooms all over the world there are women desperately hoping and men eagerly searching for this sought after trigger to apparently intense and elongated orgasms for their women.

Back in the 1950’s Dr Grafenberg published research on ‘The Role Of the Urethra In Female Orgasm’ and had cleverly noticed a small area about two inches inside, against the front wall of the vaginal canal, adjacent to a staggering 8,000 clitoral nerve fibres. This female on-occasion erogenous zone is the Urethral Sponge. Thirty or so years later two sexologists regurgitated his findings and named this spot after the now infamous Doctor – hey presto – the G-Spot and confusion was born.

The good news is that every woman has a Urethral Sponge and in some women, when aroused, stimulation will not only move the earth but heaven as well. However, this is not true of all women – we are all constructed differently and what to some is an irritation, to others is nothing short of bliss.

Kings College, London published the latest G-Spot research late last year, having performed trials on 1800 women. This exploratory research concluded, once again, lack of proof, further disclaiming the G-spot myth.

With a bombardment of contradictory information we are left with men feeling inadequate if they are not able to locate this volcanic trigger and women feeling less than all-woman should they not swing from the nearest chandelier upon discovery.

What turns us on is wide ranging and unique, thank goodness but I have never heard anyone tell me ‘pressure from my partner in the bedroom is the one thing that gets me going, like nothing else’! No, pressure is nothing less than a bucket of cold water thrown over the most passionate of moments.

If you, or your partner, are desperately searching for this elusive centre of pleasure it’s likely that one, or both, of you are looking for a sexual sensation that you are just not achieving. Spend your time and energy exploring the endless nerve endings all over the body, words that turn your legs to jelly when whispered and create a journey that is both erotic and endless. A route that is constructive and enlightening.

Mechanical sex, or ‘sex-by-numbers’, is lacking eroticism and will dampen your libido in a jiffy. When orgasm is the focus and priority we are missing out on the exciting journey that great sex offers.

G-Spotting can be fun for sure but let’s bring sex back into perspective and forget the surveys, the clinical trials and sexologists here! What is the feeling we want to experience during sex? If it’s missing enjoy finding ways to unleash it and of course, take care to secure those chandeliers!

What makes the difference between success and failure when it comes to hitting your weight loss targets? It comes down to only one thing. Your mind set.

Your mind dictates motivation and determination levels, nothing else compares to the power of our thoughts and beliefs. If we fire up our mind to think in a way that is conducive to achieving desired results, there is little else to do. What are you waiting for?

Have you ever wondered why as a nation we spend millions of pounds every year on weight loss products, slimming clubs, low calorie/fat/carb products and still over 50% of the population are overweight? How many diets have you tried and although some will have been initially successful, you find yourself back to base far too quickly and needing to start the process all over again?

The simple truth is that subconsciously we have a reason to hold onto our weight. That might sound far-fetched but why else would we invest so much time, effort and money to fail time and again, further reducing self-esteem? Maybe because we have no will-power, or that we have fat genes, there are many reasons we can give ourselves for holding onto our unwanted pounds. Identifying and addressing the underlying, subconscious need to cling on to unwanted weight and well practiced ‘fat’ eating habits allows us to begin the change immediately. If you think ‘fat’, you will feel like a fat person and therefore behave in the same way. Imagine if you thought and felt slim? How would it change your day to day relationship with yourself and food?

There is no requirement to be on a diet if you are programmed to enjoy healthy food, exercise and work it into your normal lifestyle, as most slim people do.

When we delve a little deeper into the ‘foodies’ subconscious it transpires that core emotions are being held in the fat and subconsciously we are scared to release it.

One recent case is a woman who split up with her partner a year or so ago and nothing she did would make her unwanted inches disappear. She arrived feeling desperate, confused and ugly. Her resentment towards the break up of her relationship was stuck solid. She felt unable to trust herself to make good romantic decisions and keep herself safe. By releasing these blocks she was left feeling confident, lighter and happier than she had in a long time (and ready to date again!)

The thought of having to give up our favourite foods, be a bore at social occasions and other restrictions diets can force upon us will deter us from sticking with a food and exercise plan that works. Feeling as though we are denying ourselves foods we see as a treat or a passion is forgetting that ‘Nothing tastes as good as slim and healthy feels’. It is easy to lose weight when you see yourself relaxing into a new slim lifestyle and all of the pleasure it brings.

Has the ‘x’ gone out of your sex life? Remember, sex starts in the mind and if you aren’t thinking sexy – it just won’t happen! 5 tips to revive your va va voom!

Body image makes a big difference. If you’re feeling sluggish and out of shape there’s nothing like a work out! Feeling your muscles tighten, fresh sweat running down your body and the blood racing around your veins will release stress and Endorphins – our feel-good allies,

Pamper the seducer within. How can you feel sexy if your grooming regime has hibernated for winter? Fake a tan, treat yourself to a manicure and pedicure (red nails for ladies, Coco Chanel knew a thing or two about this stuff!), New sensuous underwear that flatters, in sumptuous silk. Those Winceyette pj’s might be cosy but limbering up your libido they’re not!

Delight your senses. Gorgeous aromatic candles in the bedroom and bathroom, crisp white bed linen topped off with a faux fur throw. Surround yourself with sexiness and you will soon find your sex god/dess return!

Help your mind along.Pick up appealing erotic stories, they don’t have to be literary masters, Black Lace are now sold in many supermarkets and will have your x-rated imagination flowing again. Feed your fantasies, be wild and welcome them, turn up their brightness as they begin to relight your sexual desire.

Boredom is Bromide to your love life. Be inventive, change your seduction routines, the venue, it may be a little nippy for al fresco but how about a decadent hotel for the night? A new environment can work wonders! Whisper your thoughts out loud, tease and delight both yourself and your partner and if that sounds a little scary – read to each other from the best parts of that erotic book you bought. Variety is the spice of a sex life, sex by numbers will dampen any libido eventually – get creative, be brave and enjoy!

With the pitfalls of Christmas expertly navigated, guess what’s around the corner? Yep, Valentine’s Day! Perhaps the one day when more couples disappoint each other than any other. It doesn’t have to be that way, there’s time to consider a different approach and take your relationship to another level.

Restaurants are guaranteed full capacity, regardless of quality. Florists are doubling red rose price tags and rubbing hands with glee. Even the shabbiest of hotels are, as I write, creating ‘romantic packages’ by adding a bottle of fizz and a bunch of grapes in the room – oh and £50 to their room rate!

Am I really this cynical? No, the truth is I am a wild romantic but I cannot find one iota of romance in the commercialisation of it all. Aren’t we missing the point? Is Valentine’s Day the time to spoil your loved one because they’ve made your life bright and beautiful throughout the year? Yes, I believe it is. Is it the only day we make the effort to reward and recognise their patience and love? No, I believe that is a crucial mistake!

How much thought does it take to grab a bunch of flowers from the garage on the way home? Or to get your Secretary to book a fab eatery? I would love to see V-Day celebrated with elaborate Champagne carpet-picnics, decadent duvet days, long walks, ending in front of a huge log fire with a large hot toddy (or three!). All of it dedicated to voicing appreciation and reminding each other of what love and seduction mean to your partnership.

If we don’t take time out through the year to ensure our lover feels acknowledged and appreciated, the chances are that V-Day is going to be a disaster! Are you already harbouring resentment and anger at the feeling of being taken for granted for those other 300+ days of the year? Maybe you feel great but suspect this might apply to your other half?

How would things change if each day you both took a moment on the train, or in the shower, to think of a way to surprise and delight your loved one with appreciation? Diamonds are lovely, scented roses divine but there is nothing that replaces authentic and deeply felt feelings of being truly respected and appreciated.

So, why not get ahead of the game and start thinking of how you demonstrate appreciation throughout the year to each other? Take time out to focus on how much their existence means in your life, how the light shines brighter in their presence – it‘s all too easy to take for granted. If you‘re tempted to focus on the qualities they don’t have, or their mis-deeds – don’t! Blame and judgment are the Bromide of romance. If your partner deserves you then surely their fine characteristics far outweigh their down points. If that isn’t the case, well, maybe I should cover that in another article. Focus on what you have that’s special, nurture it with love and keep your eye on the ball – it’s all too easy to let it slip away.

Who else will know what you’re thinking with just the merest of facial expression? Who else would laugh at the unspoken joke that just the two of you share? How many others will smile as they massage your feet when you’re freezing? Or still fancy you to pieces when you’re looking your absolute worst? Give thought to what they do for you and revel in it, successful love focuses on how much you can give, not take from, the other person.

What will I be doing for V-Day? Coaching those who ignored this simple advice, as they sob into their limp, cling-film wrapped bunch of over-priced roses! Take heed and start showing your love and devotion in new ways. Notice things that are great about your Valentine again. Look at them with fresh eyes. Encourage their passions and dreams. Take an interest in their trivia. ….. and then, if the fancy takes you, by all means pop down to the diamond store!

Ten days into the new you - whether you have quit the booze, fags, sugar or any unhealthy relationship, it’s a crucial time! Seven tips to keep you on track….

Take time out to think about what you have achieved.

It is all too easy to sail along, forgetting the courageous and determined success you have accomplished. The importance of self congratulation cannot be over estimated. The inner you loves appreciation and acknowledgment, without it can feel taken for granted and may become mischievous!

Be consciously aware of seductive behaviour.

I have named the mischievousness as our ‘Monkey Mind’, where our mind finds ways to play games with us. It is ingenious and once aware of it’s playful antics to draw us back into old habits, we can treat it like a naughty child, with gentle discipline and re asserting clear boundaries.

Well embedded habits will not relinquish their power easily and will often wait until you are feeling confident that you have things under control before presenting a host of seductive tricks to set you back. Be prepared for this phase and when it comes, see it for what it is.

It might help to visualise your habit as a person, the alluring Ms/Mr Smoke, for instance. Having had a long run of partying with you, having you dance to their tune, in a warm and cosy environment they are not going to just up sticks and walk away. Oh no!

If you are feeling tempted, don’t wait for the feeling to magnify - call your Coach immediately!

Be ready for anger.

As the initial euphoria of feeling clean and shiny keeps you on track it is often given over to a deep and uncomfortable anger. Anger over the amount of time you have wasted under the power of your old unwanted habit, the missed opportunities and the destructive elements that it has brought into your life, perhaps for many years.

Be clear that this is a natural process for two reasons. All habits mentioned above fill a void - an empty space where discomfort lurks - the place where unresolved emotions are kept in check. Anger is one of our strongest emotions and it is likely that you have not found ways to resolve it in the past, instead you have suppressed it with your chosen ‘drug’. (Yes, food used in this way holds the same qualities as alcohol, recreational drugs or cigarettes!)

The anger is likely to show itself through irritation with things external initially and then move to yourself.

It is important to allow this anger to surface and manage it! Minimise disharmony with those around you and of course which is inwardly directed by taking up exercise. Something that makes you work and sweat - you will create those happy little fellas Endorphins, the brains natural feel good chemicals.

If the anger is directed at somebody specific, it might help to write them a letter, pour your anger out in the letter, let it flow. Keep writing until you feel calm. It is your anger, take responsibility for the emotion and burn the letter when you are ready to release

Focus on what the perpetrator of your anger, the situation, taught you. If you are angry with your parents - what qualities do you now possess as a result of their behaviour? Angry with an ex? What lessons have your learned and put into action? Turn your anger into a form of appreciation - however bad it was, it taught you something and that’s a positive result!

Work off aggression and further add to your detox as you sweat! However much of an effort it is to get yourself running, swimming or into the gym - as Nike would say - “JUST DO IT”!

My own experience proves that people who embark on a solid and regular exercise program during quit stage have a considerably better success rate than those who don’t.

I would be honest in saying that I’m not sure I can recall anyone who has succeeded in their clean up goals without it - medium and long term.

It is unlikely that you have processed this deep anger for the duration of your habit and therefore it may feel alien and deeply uncomfortable to you. See it as a great sign of your progress, another layer of you coming to life. If it has been suppressed for years, it is no wonder it is coming to the fore with great force now, accept it willingly. Any emotion that you attempt to resist is being fed with the power of your resistance and grow.

Other emotions are also likely to surface, sadness, guilt, resentment, fear…. When repressed they sap your energy and life force - acknowledging them and providing a safe and healthy outlet is vital for health and vitality!

You cannot change the past and are now taking responsibility for the present, stick with it, remain firmly in the NOW - looking back, other than for the purpose of learning lessons, is a futile exercise! You did the best with what you had and knew at the time - let it go - it’s done, dusted and over!

Remain on your path - no deviation.

It is important that you continue what you have done over the past ten days in order to continue your success. It is around now that it can be tempting to take your foot off the gas and let the small things slip. This will not serve you, it takes six weeks to change a habit and that means all of the steps that are leading to your successful clean up must remain in place!

If you have been drinking lemon and hot water every morning to help you detox, for instance, reverting back to the old you - a cup of steaming latte - is a step in the wrong direction. It is simply too soon and one step so often leads to another - as you know so well!

The mind set you adopted at the beginning of this process can be difficult for some to maintain. Take control of your mind, take yourself back to the time of your highest motivation, re-read your list of reasons you decided to make this change. Fire up your guns with more ammunition, ensure there is an arsenal at your disposal by continuing to focus on what this new you is gaining from the change.

Treat yourself to something fabulous.

All stick and no carrot is dull and tedious, be kind to yourself! We’re moving towards the two week landmark - what are you going to give yourself to say “Thank you”? Be sure it is something in alignment with your goal. If you have quit sugar and carbs for instance - a donut is not a treat, it’s an excuse to step backwards! Texting the toxic ex to let them know of your success - ditto! What would make you FEEL GOOD about yourself? A massage, pedicure, new underwear, tickets to a longed for show or football match? Maybe an extra session with your Coach ;-)

Focus.

Whatever you focus on will be magnified. If you’re starting to focus on what you don’t have - snap out of it - you don’t have it because it is not conducive to the life you are creating for yourself. You made this great decision for very good reasons, they are the point of focus - what you are working towards. Make your goals shiny, bright and take time to refresh and replenish them with your absolute focus every day.

What will you hear, see and feel as you buy your first next-size-down shirt? How good are you going to feel when you are out on the dating scene, flirting and feeling fabulous for the first time in too long? Getting out socialising and being part of a fun and healthy crowd who respect and like you? This is your focus, where your power is, start to become aware of your personal power and how it is directed - it’s your greatest ally!

The New You.

As you shed the skin of old habits you are uncovering a fresh and shiny new you. It may feel strange, you may feel vulnerable - this is a skin that has not seen the light of day before and a wonderful evidence that you are moving forward, creating a new identity.

You have created new space within you, remain consciously aware of how you fill that space. Choose what you want to fill the space, it is possible to fill it with another unwanted habit or something that adds to your vision, your objective and the new life you are walking towards.

Be proud of your achievement and be prepared to stand out from the crowd. If you were quitting a habit with a partner or friends and they have fallen off the wagon, human nature dictates that they will feel a whole lot more comfortable if you fall off too - stand your ground and encourage them but if the temptation is too much, give yourself a reason not to see them until you have your new habits and objectives firmly in situ!

This is an exciting time, you are able to be and achieve so much and by strengthening your self esteem and providing evidence to yourself that you are in the driving seat, you are creating a new habit in itself - the habit of self achievement and success - you will begin to expect it from yourself and rightly so!

Welcome to your new path and please feel to pop any questions you have on the comments board and I will be happy to respond.

WHAT A GREAT NEW DECADE THIS IS FOR YOU!! WELL DONE!